It is July 11. Ufi has been gone for a month. That is hard to believe. We all miss him so much.
Being me, I sometimes wonder if I let him go at the right time. I remember him fighting the drugs meant to let him go in peace, and I wonder if it was his time. Being me, I will always wonder. Sure, I can intellectualize his medical problems, struggles, and the fact that he wasn’t living his life. But sometimes I remember his last few minutes and I wonder.
Setting aside my worries, we still regularly talks about Ufi. There are so many things and situations that remind us of him. He was such a special boy that we will always remember Ufi and talk about our memories of him. We will always be confronted with situations where we would be reminded of all the things he did for us.
At least we have made it to the month marker. In someways, time sucks. It keeps moving on without Ufi. Mostly, time helps us recover. We are, in fact, learning how to live without our amazing boy. That doesn’t mean we aren’t hurting because of how badly we miss him; rather, it shows we are doing what Ufi did so well: we are living every day. That doesn’t mean we are yet living with anything like the passion Ufi did everything he did, but we are getting better each day.
One month down. A lifetime yet to go. Thanks again, U-dawg. Your example is even helping us live without you.