Ufi is Dying

Over the last two days, Ufi has taken a noticeable turn for the worse. There is no longer reason for hope that he is cancer-free. My heart is crushed.

It was only Friday when the vest said he was doing amazingly well. But we learned from Emma how quickly things can change.

Yesterday, he didn’t go for the morning walk. He hardly played last evening.

Today, he, for the first time since he retired, didn’t follow me to the door as I left for work. He went for the morning walk, but he was moving slow. Mom said he was walking behind her. That’s so not Ufi. Tonight, he hesitated at the step onto the deck. He didn’t want to use his bad leg. I rolled his toy a couple of times, but he took long rests after each one.

The hardest thing of all is watching him realize he’s losing it. He wants so badly to be doing things. He really wants to chase his toy. His body is starting to fail him to the point where he is realizing what’s happening. Now, the sadness is his too. No longer, can accessible chase and accessible ring play help us hide his dying from him.

Tomorrow, we are going to raise the dose on his pain medications. Hopefully, that will bring him some comfort. But it’s now just a matter of time.

My stomach is once again in knots. I can’t believe I’m going to have to decide when to let Ufi go. I could never repay all he has done for me, and all he has meant to me. The best I can do now is love him for the time he has left and be strong enough to say goodbye when saying goodbye is what he needs from me.

This summer has been so terrible!


  1. I’m so sorry it’s come to this. But Ufi loves you, and wants to go when the time is right. Ufi will ALWAYS walk beside you after he is gone. I still mourn the loss of my cats Michael, Molly, and Sam, but they are always with me. I wish you & your mom peace.

    1. Thank you for the kind words. Ufi did better today than yesterday. So, we are enjoying what we have left.

  2. Dear Jonathan, out of the blue tonight, I decided to google the words “ufi” and “Fidelco” and I came across your blog. We are incredibly saddened to hear of Ufi’s cancer. We were his first puppy raisers, from 2 to 10 months old. He is the most amazing dog I’ve ever known, and we’ve had many wonderful dogs. We followed him through his advanced training and knew that he had been placed for work in the northwest and were so very proud of him. We haven’t searched for or had any updates since. On the one hand, we are so happy you had years with him and that he was a faithful guide and friend. Now, of course, we’re heartbroken along with you. I spent days and days with him that first year and enjoyed our training and adventures along with our great mutt Abby. They were excellent buddies. He will be forever in our hearts. Our deepest sympathies! Cynthia Mesh and family in Stow, MA.

    1. Cynthia, Thank you for doing such a great job with Ufi. He has been an amazing friend and worker. We are doing everything we can to make sure he enjoys the time he has left.

          1. We named him. We had to pick a name starting with “U” like the rest of his litter. It was hard to find a U name not already taken. We put letters together and liked the sound. So it stuck. He was the smartest puppy ever. And so eager to connect. And fluffy.

          2. He is so smart! I could put his harness on at work, tell him which building we were going to, and he went there. You only needed to show him something once. We have been so lucky to have him.

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