This personal update has the following updates:
- An update on my battle with insomnia
- Thoughts about why I have trouble sleeping
- What’s new with the animals
- An online dating update
- A few other items
An Update on my Battle With Insomnia
Insomnia is totally winning this battle. Honestly, last week was one of the worst weeks I have had for sleeping in a long time. One night, I hardly slept. There wasn’t a night I got more than four hours sleep.
Thoughts on why I Have Trouble Sleeping
Since I’m committed to winning this battle, I have spent a lot of time thinking about why I’m so clearly losing it. For years, I have talked about my inability to turn off my brain. Today, I think I discovered part of the reason.
I don’t trust the law of attraction as much as I wish I did. Sometimes, I have a hard time trusting things will be all right. This is especially true when those things impact me but are largely out of my control. Because those things are largely out of my control, realizing I need to let them go would help calm my brain a lot.
The reason I have trouble trusting things that are out of my control but that impact me will work out is that I tend not to trust others nearly as much as I trust myself. Since I generally don’t trust others to meet my standards, I want more control than many situations allow. Lacking that control, I worry way too much about outcomes I can’t influence very much.
The answer to this problem seems to be learning to care far less about those things I can’t really control. It’s not the outcome of things I should consider–it’s my own actions. After all, my actions are the only actions I can control.
An Update on the animals
Emma has been more social the last few days than she has been in weeks. I have sat with her and scratched her tummy at least once for three consecutive days. I just love it when she rolls over as soon as I touch her. When Emma is like this, she brings a big smile to my face.
In thinking about Emma, I have to admit part of the reason she has been more social is that I have made more of an effort to encourage her to be social lately. Sometimes, I get stuck in my head and I forget the simple, critical pleasures my beloved animal friends have to offer.
Ufi has been playing more this week than last. At this point, I’m not going to try the steroids that seemed inevitable last week. As long as he’s active and happy, there isn’t a problem worth treating with another medicine.
Scorpio and I have a running battle over me petting him. He stands in front of me and licks my face. I want him to lay in front of me to make petting him easier. When I tell him to lay down, Scorpio just stands in front of me.
Last night, for some reason, he got in the right position. I really enjoyed petting him like that.
Mr. Rogers is is one funny cat. Last night, when I was obsessing over things at work I can’t control, Mr. Rogers scratched at the glass door. I thought he wanted to be let outside. I don’t think it’s safe for him outside in the middle of the night. So, I went inside.</p.
When I opend the door, Mr. Rogers didn’t try to escape. He headed for my room meowing.
Laughing, I went to my bed. Mr. Rogers got on my chest and fell asleep. It’s like he was telling me to go to bed.
An Online Dating Update
I don’t really have amuch to report here. I was too busy not sleeping and worrying about stuff I can’t control to do a lot in the area of online dating.
I did message a few new women. None of them wrote me back. While that sucks, it may have been for the best. Like I have repeatedly said, I wasn’t at my best this week.
A Few Other Items
- I didn’t finish any books this week.
- I only exercised twice.
- I didn’t record a podcast episode I liked enough to post.
That’s today’s update. I hope all of you are well.