This post has updates about Mr. Rogers, sports betting, exercise, a new job search, and hoping for spring.
It has been more than a month since Mr. Rogers died. I miss him so much. I still find myself talking to him sometimes. When I’m upset about something, I still wish to hold him and listen to his purr.
That little guy was such a big part of my life. I’m having to learn new ways of doing things that once involved him. I know I’m getting there. I know it will keep getting easier. But the pain of his loss still stings.
I’m certainly not ready for a new cat. With the uncertainty in my life, it’s not at all the right time for me to think about getting a new animal. But thanks to Mr. Rogers, I really have become a cat and dog person. I could not have had a better pet for me than my beloved Mr. Rogers.
A couple of weeks ago, I started legally betting on sports. So far, I’m only betting on baseball and hockey, and my bets are limited to the money line. That means I’m not betting on point spreads. I’m simply deciding which team I think will win and betting on them to win.
So far, I’m down twenty dollars. That means I have lost 20 of the dollars I initially deposited. I’m not expecting to make a second income gambling on sports. But betting does add another layer of interest to the games. And I think there is a chance I will learn to get pretty good at it.
That being said, if I ever lose the entire amount I deposited I will quit. I know my limits. If I can’t learn to be pretty good at betting, I will stop betting.
I’m not meeting my exercise goals every day, but I am meeting them most days. I will admit that I have lowered the number of movement calories I need to hit that goal. Still, they are higher than the default setting for my age and weight. To compensate, I increased the amount of time working out I must do to close that ring from 30 to 40 minutes. In order to meet my goals, I must have a good 40- minute workout. For now, I’m happy with where my goals are and how often I’m meeting them.
A new Job Search
It really is time for me to find a new job. I’m not at all feeling like I can do the job I want to do and that community deserves to have someone do. I’m not sure I can find a job in the field of accessibility that will satisfy me, because I’m not sure any entity that may be hiring actually wants the job done well. But I need to keep trying. I know what I could do in the right situation.
I also know few entities are even interested in hiring someone to do the needed work of creating more accessibility. So, I may have to find work in a different field. I’m open to that. My first priority is to find something that enables me to feel like I’m making a real difference. I may not be able to meet that goal and stay in the accessibility field.
I couldn’t talk about a new job search without acknowledging that starting a new job search causes a bit of anxiety. I know I’m going to face discrimination. I know I’m going to have a hard time finding something that will satisfy me and provide me a good salary and benefits. But I can’t continue doing what I’m doing.
So, I’m opening myself up, again, to facing the possible frustrations that are present in every search and those unique to someone who knows they will face extreme discrimination. When you’re literally the only person like you in a workforce of roughly 6,000, you are always aware of the difficulties people like you face in finding work.
Hoping for Good Weather
Portland just finished its rainiest April ever. The beginning of May also looks rainy. I’m so tired of the rain. I really love being outside, playing ball, and enjoying sunshine. I can’t believe it’s May first and we still haven’t turned on the air.
Given the extremes the world is facing from climate change, I’m thinking the summer will be even hotter than last year. The extremes are a sad sign of how much damage humans have done to the planet. Still, I’m ready for sun. Let’s not have too much so that it’s not safe to enjoy what we get.
That’s what I have for now. I hope everyone is well.